Life is mad at the moment and I am not enjoying living at our's anymore. I love dad to pieces but he wont accept help for any of us and its grinding us all to the point of nowhere. I am remaining positive for myself as i start a new job soon and i am really looking forward to that... I have also been looking at places to move in too, this will enable me to have my own independence and gain that level of maturity for everyone around me. I still remain the baby and sometimes its so hard for everyone around me to see i have grown in to a woman now and im not a child anymore. I miss you loads mum, i carry you wherever i go, you always have inspired me to do what makes me the happiest since school. I just want that for everyone, 'happiness' cos the last three years has been awful and eventually i need to live my own life and make a success out of it, i cant take the doom and gloom anymore. I wish you didnt have to have died.. cos i know you mum you wud have sorted anything out and made it better... wherever you are i hope you are at peace and can try and send some of it our way cos we really need it.... love you claire xxxx